How to Discipline a Toddler

When I am asked how to discipline a toddler, my reply is that the most effective way to discipline a toddler is to teach them … not punish your toddler. “What? This makes no sense!” is often the reaction.

My definition of discipline is teaching and assisting your child with the skills of life, using consistency, patience and kindness.

Here is what you need to know about how to discipline a toddler:

• Discipline has everything to do with teaching and guidance and nothing to do with punishment.
• The word discipline comes from the Latin root disciplina, which means “teaching/learning”.
• Discipline is about deciding what you will do with your toddler in a kind yet firm way, with follow through rather than what you expect your child to do.
• Discipline is about laying a foundation for respect.
• Discipline is about understanding, encouraging and communication – it’s never about punishment.
• Discipline is about learning techniques that work for you and your child.
• Discipline is about showing love and having tons of patience.

Toddlers are feeling beings. They express their feelings through various behaviors we all know too well, such as crying, temper tantrums, pouting, biting, and hitting, to name just a few. Toddlers need to learn how to express their feelings in words – not actions. Parents have to teach their toddler how to put words to what they feel. Even before they learn how to communicate with words, parents need to speak consistently with their little ones using age-appropriate language. Children not only learn from this practice, but they also thrive.

Once toddlers are able to express themselves with words, they then need to learn how to express their feelings in constructive – not destructive – ways. Children learn by example and will soon follow your lead. When even young children learn there are consequences for their behavior, they soon learn to react in a more constructive way.

Teaching your toddler about their feelings is the baseline for giving your toddler self-esteem. Teaching is how to discipline a toddler.